2 Weeks

UGH....My Fiona bug is having her cyst removal surgery in 2 weeks, the worst part is going to be handing her over. She hardly goes to anyone yet alone a stranger. She is going to freak out.
I'm not sure if I can go in with her or not. I think that I may call and find out.
She has been rubbing her eye a lot lately and the cyst has gotten bigger.

2 more weeks....I can do this, I NEVER thought that my baby would be inside an OR ever again!!!

An Ear Infection

I have never been so happy to hear "It's an ear infection". Awwww......Fiona went to our doctor's on Thursday, I can't believe how much see can't stand being around doctor's, who can blame her.
She is on antibiotics for 5 days. I'm so happy that's all it is.

3 weeks is her cyst removal surgery....I'm not handling it very well, I'm so anxious all the time, my thoughts are erratic. I'm very scared.

I feel horrible

I hate the fact that all I do is worry all the time, doesn't matter what it's about...money, kids, job, husband, family, weight, health, future, future surgeries, panic attacks, anxiety, depression. EVERYTHING.
I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fiona has had a low grade fever for a couple of days but in my head her cyst is cancer....how ridiculous is that? She has a cyst and that's it. I feel like crying all the time. I hate this. She is probably teething or has a mild infection, she is going to see Dr. Molnar on Wednesday.

Will the worrying stop

I'm once again worried about the shape of Fiona's head. I guess I just figured that her head would look more round by this point, she had a ridge on the left side and it feels uneven.

I don't know what is normal and what is not, it's not like we have ever been through this before. Maybe I'm just being obessive about her head shape. I notice now I stare at people's heads. I can now tell if a child has a cranio issue....it's so crazy. I wish the worrying would go away.

The Past Few Dyas

Keri and I went to Niagara Falls for the night on Sunday....it was GREAT, it's what we needed, we needed to reconnect, and that's what we did. We have go through so much over the past year....Fiona's surgery, all the issues with Noah and of course the passing of his Mother, we both went through depression, I was in a major depression. I'm better now. We are on the same page again and we weren't for the longest time. I didn't know if we were going to survive or not, we both take our vows seriously and we wanted to work at it.

I got an email from Alan at Sick Kids today. Fiona's surgery is on September 4th at 3:00pm. She has to fast from midnight on....it's going to be a long cranky day for all of us.
Although she is only having a cyst remove and it's a very minor surgery....I'm a mess, all the feeling are coming back from the first surgery, it's crazy....her cranio surgery was almost a year ago already (Sept 26th) time flies. I can't believe my baby girl has to go through another surgery again....she's not even 2 yet :(

Scan Results

Well we have good news and bad news, the bad news in that Fiona is having surgery next month to remove the cyst. It will be day surgery, she’ll have a black eye and it will be swollen.The good news in that Dr. Phillips thinks everything is OK, he said that he has NEVER seen a scan like Fiona’s before, he said that her right side is growing new bone super fast and that the left is growing and healing very slow. He said that she’ll probably need touch up’s in the future but for now he is going to monitor the situation and see her every 6 months instead of every year, he said that the scan looks a lot worse then how she looks in person. He said that the rest of her head is healing perfectly. So all in all we feel better although I’m not looking forward to surgery again next month.
Some people go through life not experiencing one surgery, this is will Fiona's second, although it's only day surgery, it will be just as tough handing her over to them again. :(

Had the scan

Yesterday was very tough, probably more on me then Fiona. They put the numbing cream on the one hand, I think it worked a bit not 100%. They only took one poke and the IV was in. She was crying the whole time we were waiting for the nurse to put the actual medicine in the IV. She finally put in the stuff to relax her, it was hilarious, after about 5 seconds she looked up at me with this funny grin on her face...she was acting drunk. So we carried her into the CT room, put her on the bed, they thought that she maybe able to do it with just the relaxing medicine but she started crying and kicking, so they put the sleeping stuff in the IV and about 5 minutes later she was out. They did a 3D scan with dye. We will find out the results on Friday. She was so wobbly all day and VERY cranky...I couldn't put her down because she would fall, when I sat her on the floor she tipped over. They said that the sedation will last 24 hours.
She woke up this morning and is acting like herself. I can't believe the effects of that medicine.
I'm so glad that we don't have to wait too long for the results.